I choose.  I act.   Others observe and judge.  I accept or refute or offer explanation.  Others adjust, accept or disagree.  In most cases, I can live with that just fine.  (This is not about politics, finance or religion….)  My Logittude is not the same as anyone else’s, and in understanding that simple fact, I can deal with disagreement just fine, in most cases…

You just cannot please everyone, but you can let other people be unpleased.

I admit that in my own Logittudinal studies, I discovered that I have been a people pleaser most of my life.  As a child, I did the “right” things most of the time because I did not want to disappoint my parents.  There was not threat of punishment, no dangling of rewards.  I simply understood that I had the choice of doing what was right or disappointing those who expected the best from me.  In doing this, I became a person who sought to not disappoint myself in my own life endeavors.  Cool, huh?  Like a bit of self-hypnotism, but wide awake and aware of my choices.

What I choose to do with my life, with my day, with my personal spaces and actions, is all determined with whether I set about to not disappoint myself…. not necessarily to please myself, but to not disappoint.  If I have the opportunity and talent and resources to accomplish something, I feel that is what I must do.  If I do my best efforts, then I feel that I have excelled to the best of my abilities.  I can live with those choices.

What others determine that I should be doing may be a whole other ballgame.  It is my choice to act as they expect and wish or to please myself.  Sometimes the two coincide;  sometimes not.  I can live with that.  I know from my awareness of my own Logittude what is right for me and why I do what I do on most occasions; even the not-so-great choices can be understood.  Others are interpreting my decisions through their own Logittudes, not mine.  If other’s do not share the same filters, I can live with their disagreements.  I can attempt to educate them to my “why”, or I can allow their opinions to stand unchallenged.

I am still a people pleaser to a degree.  If my time can be given to another to make their life better, I can take that time for someone else.  If a phone conversation can bring happiness, then I’ll spend that time in conversation.  If driving 2 hours or 10 hours to accomplish a task can make some situation better, then I’ll drive.  If a gift of a possession can bring happiness, I might relinquish my ownership without regret.  I also realize that it is not about me, so if I choose to be silent or absent on occasions, the world will keep spinning and the sun wil come up tomorrow, in most cases…  Decisions are based on the big pictures and what is truly important to the people concerned.

Last week, I decided to take time from my own tasks to help with those of others.  They would have been fine without me, but I think I played a helpful role and left positive outcomes.  I was away from my  typing for a bit, but the web kept spinning without me for the time spent.  I have been told by at least three individuals today what they view as what I should have done recently, that I did differently.  I accepted their input, and I offered my reasoning to one person, who rejected it.  I offered a smile to the second person, and I left the conversation at a stalemate.  For the third, I walked away.  All perfectly good decisions that I can live with, and apparently so can they.  I understand it because I know where I stand, Logittudinally speaking.  Everyone else seemed pleased enough with me this past week, so my overall outcomes were successful.

Wonder what this week will bring me?  [Thank You, God, for the opportunities you lay before me.  Thank You for allowing me to discover those opportunities and to use them for the best purposes in serving You and those I love. Amen.]

Your Logittude is affected by your personal filters.  Like the “frame of reference” of the standard model of communication, your filters are those intangible feelings, attitudes, impressions and knowledge that you bring with you into the moment.  Typically, you are blissfully unaware that you are a carrier of these elements, but there is no escaping these clinging, moment-altering aspects of you.

You bring with you all of your interpersonal encounters, your emotional states and memories of settings and situations in your past and your current preconceived expectations of the moment.  Anticipation of pleasure or conflict or confusion from lack of knowledge all affect the moment you are entering.

To approach Logittude spend a little effort at examining your filters in general.  Do you carry with you lessons from your childhood on how to react and behave?  Do you practice consideration for others or evaluation of yourself already?  Did you have a big family that interacted well or not-so-well that still influences how you approach other people and situations?  Are you receptive to other attititudes and opinions contrary to your own?  Do you have any clues about why you may be shy or outgoing?  This list is unlimited and the answers may continue to astound you once you get going.

Where your Logittude is now and wherever it is going, you cannot help but take your baggage with you.  All those bits and pieces of good and evil and trivia and treasure are jumbled up in that mystical brain of yours that filter your experiences.  Like a sieve that already has remnants of your history mixed up and clogged into the openings through which all that comes next must pass.  Lovely.

Although you can’t completely dump that baggage, you can learn to store it away and use it only when needed.  Recognizing what you are hauling around is a great accomplishment.  Recognizing the useless junk you are hauling around is magnificent.  Learn from experience, but don’t let experiences control your future to your detriment.

De-clutter.  Lighten your load.  Evaluate and reconsider.  Each day is a fresh start on your journey if you start fresh.  Any good journey is improved by good planning, which includes smart packing. Take only what you need, and recycle the other stuff wisely.

Every journey starts somewhere.  Every project has an initial step.  Finding your Personal Compass will begin our exploration together toward finding your Logittude.

When I was teaching Communication in Human Relations, almost every textbook began with the classic Model of Communication.  There was a sender, a receiver and a message.  There was also what was usually called a Frame of Reference surrounding each participant in the model.  This concept is not limited to communication studies.  The Frame of Reference is much like what Logittude explores on the personal level.

Your personal history of experiences, emotions, education, knowledge, relationships – everything that has touched you emotionally, physically and psychologically – forms a foundation for your Logittude.  Through personal evaluation, you can map where you’ve been to the current point in time.

Why study the history of You? By knowing where you’ve been and how you reached this current point in your existence, you have established references to direct, or possibly redirect, where you are going next.  Logittude.com will take various aspects of your background one step at a time.  You took a while to get where you are.  For better or worse, it can’t be explained in one post.  Pace yourself.  The best IS yet to come.

Your Personal Compass is formed based on an anchor point.  Your background is that anchor.  The background will not change, although your attitude towards the elements in your background might be altered as your perspectives change.  By recognizing and acknowledging what forms your foundations, you can create your Personal Compass with reference point including where you think you want to go, where you think you are actually headed, as well as where you might go if you drift off track.

My constant advice to you all:  SHINE!